Save Money… Not Clothes

It’s there. Way in the back of your closet. Price tag still intact. Waiting patiently to be rescued from limbo. It’s The Dress. Or maybe it’s The Coat. Or is it The Shoes?

You wanted this item because you loved how it looked on you and the way it made you feel. But shortly after you bought it, you declared it was much too nice to wear on just a ‘normal’ day. Oh, no. This item deserved to be saved for a very special occasion.

That was a year ago. Or was it two years ago? So, just how special is the occasion you are expecting? An invitation to Vanity Fair's Oscar party? A State Dinner at The White House? Tea at Buckingham Palace? A private audience with the Pope? A date with George Clooney?

And if/when this momentous occasion eventually arrives, will the clothes you’re saving even still be in style?

I’ve said it before, but it's worth repeating – life is too short to spend it wearing ugly clothes. Life also is too short to ‘save’ clothes for a special occasion. (We should save money, not clothes. Beautiful clothes should be worn – often!)

Make every day special. Rip off the price tag and wear that gorgeous dress or those killer shoes. And when someone asks, ‘What’s the occasion?’ ... just smile and say, ‘It’s Tuesday!’

Being 'Grown-up' is More than Your Age

Last week I was shopping with a client who is gearing up for her 40th birthday. She wants to revamp her wardrobe to be more age appropriate, while remaining true to her youthful energy and outgoing personality. No problem!

However, in addition to incorporating ‘grown-up clothes’ she wants to adopt more grown-up behaviors, such as sending handwritten thank-you notes. This will take a little longer, but her goal is attainable and it made me think about a few other grown-up behaviors and style choices to consider.

Here are 10 things you can try at any age:

1. Be kind to waiters. Why? First, it’s just good form to be nice to anyone who is serving you. Second, it’s smart. Not only is this person in charge of your food, you are about to hand over your debit/credit card to him or her. Think about it. (And when you get good service, leave a generous tip – at least 18 percent.)

2. Do not chew gum in public. Why? Ever seen Britney Spears struggle through an interview while chomping on a gob of Big Red? Yikes. Restrict your gum chewing to long road trips or if you’re working around the house. If you’re in public and need to freshen your breath, reach for a mint.

3. Leggings and tights are not pants. No matter how thin or shapely, a grown woman should not wear leggings or tights as a substitute for pants. I know Audrey Hepburn made it look chic – but she was Audrey Hepburn. Just put on a pair of well-fitting pants or jeans.

4. A wireless earpiece is not a fashion accessory. An earpiece is fine for hands-free driving or if your job requires endless phone calls. But walking through the park or grocery shopping with that object sprouting from your ear says you are too attached to your phone. Literally.

5. Sunglasses are to protect your eyes from the sun. When you enter a building, remove your sunglasses and put them in your pocket/purse. Wearing sunglasses on top of your head? Only if you don’t have a pocket or purse.

6. Frosted lipstick is for little girls. On a grown woman, frosted lipstick looks like you just ate a Krispy Kreme doughnut, and you didn’t have a napkin to wipe your mouth. Stick with your favorite shade of red.

7. Grown men should only wear a team jersey on game day (or if you have just been drafted by the team). Otherwise, wear a real shirt – with a collar.

8. It’s okay to ignore a fashion trend. Just because a trend is in every store and on every magazine cover, you do not have to follow the herd. Every trend does not work for every person. Being a grown-up includes knowing when a trend doesn’t look good on you.

9. RSVP and go. When the invitation says ‘RSVP,’ you should reply as soon as possible and let the host know whether you plan to attend. (Don’t wait until the last minute… thinking you’ll get a better offer.) The host needs to know who’s coming, in order to determine how much food and drink to buy. And if you say you will attend – then go. It is rude to be a no-show unless you have a valid reason.

10. Send a handwritten thank-you note. (My client is right about this.) Whether following up on a job interview, saying thanks for a dinner party invitation, or acknowledging a graduation/wedding/baby shower gift… the reasons to send a handwritten note are endless. It takes more effort than texting or instant messaging, but the recipient will remember that you took the time to do it.

This list is a lot to take on at once, so tackle one or two items at a time. Before you know it, you’ll be following the advice of Prince (and parents around the globe) to 'Act your age... not your shoe size!'

Wardrobe Basics for Women and Men

Question:

I usually buy my clothes at consignment stores because this is both cheaper and “greener” than the mall. Therefore, I have lots of quirky, cool things I love in my wardrobe, but not many basics. So here’s my question: What are the basics I need to add that can complement my consignment-quirky wardrobe?

--submitted by M.L.


Hello M.L.,

Thanks for your question.

This is a good problem to have. I find it easier to add the necessary basics to a collection of quirky and cool clothes than to inject whimsy/personality into a closet full of basics. So, in my book, you are ahead of the game!

To start, think of your wardrobe as a bite of cake with a good balance of frosting and cake. The ‘frosting’ is your accessories, including the quirky or cool items you already have. The ‘cake’ is your wardrobe basics – shirts/blouses, slacks/skirts, dresses – that you wear regularly. Right now you have a lot of frosting, and you need more cake.

The particular basics you need (and how many) will be determined by several factors, including your occupation and your company’s dress code. If you work from home and rarely have face-to-face meetings, you may not require an extensive wardrobe. Regardless, there are key garments that a well-dressed person should have in their closet when the need arrives. My recommendations are below.

Wardrobe basics for women:

-Tailored dress slacks in black and gray (and perhaps in taupe and navy).
-Skirts in the same colors. If you never wear skirts, add more slacks.
-Tailored blazer that you can wear with jeans, a skirt, or slacks.
-Dark wash jeans.
-Day dress. (Try a wrap style or coat-dress style, depending on your
preference and body type.)
-White cotton blouse.
-Black turtleneck.
-Woman’s tee-shirts (v-neck or scoop neck and colors depend on your preference).
-Cocktail or ‘little black dress.’

Wardrobe basics for men:

-Two-piece suit in charcoal or navy.
-Sport coat.
-Blue dress shirt.
-White dress shirt.
-Dark wash jeans.
-Flat front khaki pants.
-Polo shirts or your preferred style of casual shirt with a collar.
-Tuxedo. (Rent only if you’re a groomsman and all tuxedos must match.)

These lists do not include shoes, belts, coats or the various accessories you will need to complete your look. However, the items listed provide a good foundation to get you on your way!

How to Be Warm and Stylish in Winter

Question:
How can I dress warmly and with style in the winter time in a casual/business casual office environment? My solution is always to put on as many layers as possible, which rarely translates into a stylish look. Any ideas?
-submitted by L. E., Atlanta, GA


Thanks for your question, L.E.

Dressing for winter weather often pits style against comfort, making us wonder if it’s possible to stay warm without looking like Kenny from South Park. But with a little planning you can be both warm and stylish.

Here are three things to consider:

1. Multiple Layers
2. Winter Fabrics
3. Color Coordination

Multiple Layers. What you wear underneath and on top of your ‘outfit’ will play a big part in keeping you warm. Let’s start with what you’ll wear underneath.

For women, a pair of tights – worn under slacks or the right skirt/dress – instantly adds a layer of warmth without adding bulk. If you're wearing jeans or slacks, consider thermals. (For men, wearing thermals under jeans or even under a suit is an easy way to add a layer of warmth.) Depending on the style of your blouse/shirt/sweater, you can wear a thermal shirt underneath.

Today’s thermals are often thin and lightweight, yet still provide much-needed warmth. No one will know you're wearing this hidden layer, so no need to feel self-conscious.

Your outer layer – a coat or jacket big enough to fit comfortably over the other layers – has to work very hard. It should be able to withstand the elements and still look good. On the plus side, Southern winters generally are less harsh than winters in the Midwest or Northeast. Usually you can get by with a heavy wool coat (instead of the unattractive down-filled coats required for survival in harsher climates). A wool coat also allows you to inject a bit of style.

Winter Fabrics. By now your lightweight/summer clothes have been packed away for a few months. (Correct?) You should be wearing wool, flannel, corduroy and other fabrics known for their warmth. Pullover sweaters or cardigans made of merino wool or cashmere look good, do not add much bulk, and are quite warm. Wool suits, slacks and skirts should be staples in your winter wardrobe. And don’t forget wool socks to keep your feet from becoming blocks of ice.

Color Coordination. Your winter attire won’t be complete without gloves, a scarf and a warm hat. If you select your gloves/scarf/hat in a single color or shades of the same color, you're well on your way to creating a pulled-together look.

While everyone else may look like they just threw on a random collection of winter clothes, you will look like the stylish person you were meant to be!

Resolving to Lose Weight? Skip the Charade!

It's December. The end of another year. Time to review what we accomplished. What lingers on our to-do list. And, yes... what we resolve to do next year.

I hate this part of the holidays. Just call me The Grinch Who Stole New Year's.

Each year I used to resolve to eat more fruits and vegetables (and fewer fries); drink more water (and less soda and coffee); and exercise at least three times a week.

It never happened.

So I finally dropped the charade of a new year's diet. You should, too.

Why?

Every January millions resolve to lose weight and/or get in shape, after which they plan to buy new clothes and pay more attention to their appearance. Many even join fitness clubs and put forth a valiant effort... for about six weeks or so.

By spring, most of those resolutions have been abandoned, and trips to the gym have dwindled or stopped entirely. This, of course, means they never get to the second part of the plan... the part where they buy new clothes and pay attention to their appearance. As a result, they spend the remainder of the new year looking (and feeling) just as bad as the year before.

I propose that we all skip the weight-loss charade! Stop kidding ourselves that we are going to exercise diligently and lose weight at the beginning of the year. There is nothing magical or special about the month of January. (I mean, you could have started last May. Or August. What was wrong with October? See.)

Instead of postponing 'looking better,' I say begin where you are right now. Instead of signing a contract for a gym membership (that you are likely to abandon), you should spend the money on a couple of new outfits in your current size.

"But I'm fat!," you say. Yes, you are. I won't lie to you. But stick with me; the brilliance of my plan is about to come through!

Wearing clothes that fit well and are flattering - regardless of your size - will have a positive influence on your outlook. Your family, friends and co-workers will notice, and compliment you. The compliments will serve as motivation to lose weight.

Soon you will think, "If I look this good in a size XXX, imagine how much better I will look if I diet and exercise and get down to a size X!"

I know this works. Last year one of my clients was struggling with her weight and was not in the mood to do anything about it. After I helped her get some new clothes (in her size at the time), she was energized and motivated to begin a diet and exercise program. Today she has lost weight and a few dress sizes, her confidence is back, and she looks and feels amazing!

You can do it, too.

So, out with the old resolution to lose weight first. Start looking your best where you are RIGHT NOW. By spring - when the fitness centers are empty again - you can begin making your outside look as good as you feel inside.

Cheers!

Parties Ahead: Proceed with Caution

The holidays are almost here. Soon you will be celebrating with your family, friends and neighbors. And let’s not forget the annual tradition that is anticipated by some, while dreaded by others: the office holiday party!

With a little foresight, the office party can be a fun and memorable event. Because it’s the holidays, you can step out a little with your attire, but keep your behavior in check.

Let’s start with the obvious… what should you wear?

First, your workplace probably has a dress code – either official or unofficial – that you observe every day. You know what attire is appropriate for your particular industry, so keep this code in mind when selecting your party attire.

For the party, your outfit can have a little sparkle (‘party’ jewelry or a dress made of shiny fabric) or you can show a little cleavage. (Men can step out with a more colorful shirt-tie combination, but avoid anything gimmicky like a Santa tie or Santa hat.)

It is a party, but remember it also is a work function. There are parts of your body that your boss and co-workers do not need to see. Period. This is not the time to reveal the tattoo you got during Spring Break of your senior year!

Avoid wearing anything that is too tight, too short, too low-cut, too sheer or any combination of the above. You are going to a party with your co-workers, not applying for a job at Hooters.

If you plan to dance at the party, wear shoes that will be comfortable all evening. Do not wear shoes that you’ll have to kick off after just one spin around the dance floor. Wearing a party dress while dancing in your stocking feet just makes you look drunk, whether you are or not.

Speaking of alcoholic beverages …

Keep in mind that this is an office party. Put the emphasis on ‘office’ and not on ‘party.’ Sure, there is an open bar, but this is not the time to experiment with new concoctions or overindulge in your favorite beverage. Know your limit and strictly obey it.

The last thing you want to do is drink too much and embarrass your spouse/date, your clients, your boss, or most importantly, yourself.

(I once had a co-worker who imbibed too much at the holiday party. In her inebriated state she ‘flashed’ several colleagues and French kissed another one. I didn’t even attend the party, but our co-workers replayed the unfortunate events of the evening for me, minute by minute. She never lived it down, and her party story became legendary.)

Now, back to you. Come Monday morning, you will be back in the office working side by side with your co-workers and your boss. Unlike Vegas, what happens at the office party does not stay at the office party. So, don’t wear or do anything that will make you the main character in a cautionary tale.

Eyeglasses: To See and Be Seen

Question:
What does your choice in glasses say about you? Can glasses change how people perceive you? For those of us that have to wear them, and for someone that has been thinking about shaking up my look (always very conservative)… it is an important quandary!
-submitted by A.T.


Thanks for your question, A.T.

I’m a big believer in accessories and their ability to convey your mood or affect the way you look. Glasses, although they are a necessity for you, are the ultimate ‘accessory’ because you wear them every day and with everything.

So, what do glasses say about the wearer?

According to a survey by eyewear maker Essilor of America, 40 percent of those surveyed said that people who wear glasses are perceived as being “smarter.” Thirty-nine percent said people look “more sophisticated” wearing glasses.

Okay. Smart is good. Sophisticated is great. But do glasses diminish the wearer’s attractiveness?

According to the survey, 73 percent of the respondents said glasses have little to no impact on the wearer’s attractiveness. Sixty percent of men and 62 percent of women disagree with the adage of "boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses?"

Singer Britney Spears topped the list of sexiest eyeglass-wearing celebrity among male voters (44 percent). Actor Richard Gere took the top celebrity spot among female voters, with 35 percent.

Although Britney’s and Richard’s spectacles say sexy, glasses say different things, largely depending on the wearer. When it comes to famous people in glasses, here’s how I see it…

“Smart” glasses: inventor Benjamin Franklin, billionaire Bill Gates, writer/actress Tina Fey.

“Cool” glasses: entertainer Whoopi Goldberg, singer-activist Bono, actors Johnny Depp and James Dean, activist Malcolm X.

“Creative” glasses: singer Elton John, architect IM Pei, fashion designers Yves St. Laurent and Christian Siriano.

A number of politicians, including former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger and former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, are synonymous with their eyewear. And how would we ever recognize characters such as Harry Potter, Clark Kent and Charlie Brown's Marcie without their trademark eyeglasses?

So, how do you find eyeglasses that are right for you? A few tips…

1) Do not rush. You will be wearing your glasses every day, so take your time to find the right pair. If your optometrist does not have anything you like, take your prescription and shop around.

2) Combine function with beautiful form. The options are plentiful, so look for glasses that not only help you to see, but help others see you in a new light.

3) Consider the shape of your face. As a general rule, the shape of your glasses should contrast with the shape of your face. For example, if you have a round face, do not get round glasses; try glasses that are more rectangular in shape. If your face is angular, do not get glasses with sharp angles; try round or oval ones.

4) You can have more than one pair. Perhaps a ‘serious’ pair for work and a ‘fun’ pair (or two) for evenings and weekends.

5) Get the opinion of someone you trust. A friend of mine, who is in her 50s, says she always seeks the advice of someone younger so that her glasses look current and not like little-old-lady glasses.

6) Repeat these steps every two or three years. Eyeglasses go out of style, just like everything else. You cannot look 'current' if you've been wearing the same glasses for 10 years.

Now that you have some guidelines, which style of eyeglass frames ranked sexiest according to the survey? Rimless eyeglasses took the top spot by 49 percent of both wearers of eyeglasses and those who do not wear glasses. Metal frames came in second with 38 percent. And almost half (46 percent) of those surveyed would consider wearing eyeglasses as a fashion accessory – even if they didn’t need glasses.

Note to self: Schedule eye appointment; ask about rimless frames. Pronto!

Best of luck to you, A.T.!