Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Manners are always in style.

Last Sunday I met a friend for what started as a leisurely brunch, but ended as a reminder of the importance of good manners.

A dear friend and I had not seen each other in a couple of months, so after having our fill of great food we settled down to chat over coffee. Our waiter was pleasant and did not give the unspoken ‘time for you to leave’ vibe that usually comes when a restaurant is packed.

Well, even though the waiter did not mind our lingering, another patron was coveting our table -- and he made it known.

As we enjoyed our coffee, Old Man shuffled right up to our table and ‘jokingly’ said that we were sitting at his table. He prattled on about how he always sits at that particular table -- the one where we were obviously loitering now that we had finished our meal. He even suggested that we move to one of the available tables.

Pardon me?

Astonished, my friend looked at me with a ‘can you believe this?’ expression on her face as I scanned the restaurant for telltale signs of hidden cameras. Clearly we were the targets of a reality show in which Old Man was playing the Jack Nicholson role from As Good As It Gets or the Dustin Hoffman role from Rain Man.

But Old Man was not part of any show or acting a role. He simply was a restaurant patron who forgot where he was and forgot his manners to boot.

He forgot that he was not at home, in his own dining room, where he can sit in the same chair every day and dare anybody to go near it. He was in a public restaurant – where seats are assigned as you enter.

I could not tell if he was mentally ill, or just a cranky old man accustomed to getting his way. I took both possibilities into consideration and refrained from letting him know exactly what I was thinking. (Trust me. It was not a happy thought.)

My friend and I mustered a couple of smiles, assured him that we would be leaving soon, and kindly suggested that he take a seat at one of the empty tables until we departed. He mumbled something, and shuffled off.

Our waiter and the restaurant’s manager came over in succession. Both were mortified and apologized profusely, explaining that Old Man is a semi-regular guest who always insists on having that particular table.

My friend and I sat there for a few more uncomfortable minutes, then got up to leave. As we headed for the door, the restaurant host stopped us and offered the third apology of the morning. At this point we were more embarrassed by the apologies than the incident itself.

But back to Old Man… there is no excuse for his behavior. Yes, he is old and he may have some mental issues. If that is the case, then the people accompanying him in public – in this case, his wife – should rein him in and not allow his rudeness to disrupt others’ enjoyment. If he were a few years younger, or if the importance of good manners had not been drilled into my head from birth, the scenario could have taken a nasty turn very quickly.

It is never in style to be rude. Not to a stranger. Not to a waiter. Not to a fellow patron. Not to anyone.

Besides, is the location of your table really that important? Seriously.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Try new things, but don't go crazy!

When it comes to my personal style, I am very confident regarding what works and doesn't work for me. But to keep from getting in a fashion rut I will try new styles on occasion. One such instance was during a recent trip to Chicago to visit a friend (who happens to be a true fashionista).

While browsing a men's boutique, a military-style jacket caught my eye. This is not my usual style, but my friend encouraged me to try it on. I did, and to my surprise I looked pretty good in it... and not like a long-lost member of the Jackson Family! (What is it with their fascination with military garb?) She gave the jacket the nod of approval, so I said yes.

Well, I was on a roll now. "What else should I try?"

Having recently bought two pairs of jeans, I did not want or need more, but the 'sale' sign seemed to call my name. I quickly thumbed through the stacks and found my size in a style unlike the ones I just bought.

The jeans were black, with straight legs. Dare I say they were 'skinny' jeans?

My gut said no, but I was still floating because of my new jacket, so off to the dressing room I marched... salesman and fashionista friend in tow.

A few grunts later, I emerged from the dressing room. I already knew how I looked (because there was a mirror in the dressing room). But in keeping with the 'try new things' theme of the day, I had to see this experiment to its fruition.

The look on the faces of the salesman and my friend said it all: Oh. My. God!

The skinny jeans were so tight they made my legs look like sausage casings. And, when I turned to show the back side... well, let's just say that I could have been J-Lo's brother!

My fashionista friend slowly shook her head. Horrrified. The salesman, trying to put a positive spin on it, commented that I definitely would get attention if I wore the jeans. Tempting thought... but no. The skinny jeans went back on the shelf.

So, the lesson learned: Try new styles. See how today's trends look on you. But, in the end, remain true to yourself.

Don't get caught up with trends and lose your own style in the process.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

"I care about the details."

The road to becoming well-dressed doesn't end with a great suit or dress. Hats, belts, watches, sunglasses, cufflinks and scarves may seem like an afterthought or even utilitarian, but they really are a key component of your overall look and can add just the right touch.

Pay attention to the little things. You will make a bigger - and much better - impression!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

What lies beneath?

Your undergarments are just as important as your top layer of clothing. They should fit well and provide support.

Periodically take stock. Stretched elastic? Pit stains? Faded colors? Toss it! Your underwear should look good - even if no one sees it but you.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

"I respect you - and your senses."

Use fragrances sparingly. A little goes a long way. Others should not smell you before you enter the room - or after you leave.