What do your shoes say?

The shoes you wear to work every day may or may not reflect your personality – they’re just part of your work attire.

Construction workers wear steel-toed boots. Coaches wear athletic shoes. Businessmen wear wingtips. Nurses wear whatever is most comfortable!

But your casual shoes - the ones you choose to wear in your free time - tell a different story. That's because many shoes have a ‘brand’ and can associate certain characteristics with the wearer – whether accurate or not.

For example, someone wearing Birkenstocks (or a similar type of sandal) may be pegged as laid back, environmentally conscious, or at worst a ‘tree-hugger.’

Tevas say ‘sporty.’

White running shoes typically say 'American,' and when traveling abroad they say 'tourist.'

Five-inch stilettos say ... ahem, they say a lot!

Crocs say 'I'm cute.' But they only work for children. Wearing Crocs after age 10 says that you just don’t care. (That’s my very personal opinion!) Adults should not wear Crocs unless washing the car or planting shrubbery.

So, whether you're reaching for Doc Martens, slingbacks, flip-flops, or Chucks, take a minute to think about what your shoes are saying.

Is that the message you want to send?

Transition to fall clothes in 3 easy steps

Fall is here! It’s my favorite season because we get a break from the sweltering temperatures, the air is crisp, and we don’t need coats – yet.

Time to take out your fall clothes. But what if you really don’t have ‘fall’ clothes? Perhaps your closet is filled with ‘summer’ clothes and ‘winter’ clothes, but very little in between. How do you bridge the seasons?

No need to panic. Here are three steps that will make the transition easy – for both women and men.

First, put away any clothes that just yell summer: cotton shorts, linen slacks/skirts and sandals. If you have any doubt regarding whether an item is too ‘summery’ to wear into fall, ask yourself a couple of questions about the garment:

1. Is it white? I know, I know. The new fashion ‘rules’ dictate that you can wear white after Labor Day. I gave you a few weeks; it’s October now. Time to give up white pants. (White shirts and blouses - not made of linen - are fine year-round.)

2. When the temperature was in the upper 90s, did you wear this item because it helped keep you cool? If so, pack it away until next year.

Second, bring out the clothes that you packed away at the first sign of spring… sweaters, jackets/blazers, scarves and boots. Before you put these clothes into your closet and dresser drawers, ask yourself, “Did I wear this last winter?” If you did not wear it, why not? Is it because the item is out of style? Or have you simply grown tired of it?

If you did not wear it last year, how likely are you to wear it this year?

The item is just taking up space in your closet. If it is in good condition, donate it to charity. If it is not in good condition (i.e. torn or stained), toss it in the trash.

The third and final step is blending your summer wardrobe with fall items to add warmth. Go for a streamlined V-neck, crew neck or cardigan made of merino wool. (Do not raid your grandfather’s closet for one of his bulky cable-knit sweaters!) Or you can add a jacket made of heavy canvas or a lightweight blazer.

Finish the transition by switching to fall shoes, such as leather boots or a nice pair of suede chukka boots.

I think you’re ready for your close-up!

Manners are always in style.

Last Sunday I met a friend for what started as a leisurely brunch, but ended as a reminder of the importance of good manners.

A dear friend and I had not seen each other in a couple of months, so after having our fill of great food we settled down to chat over coffee. Our waiter was pleasant and did not give the unspoken ‘time for you to leave’ vibe that usually comes when a restaurant is packed.

Well, even though the waiter did not mind our lingering, another patron was coveting our table -- and he made it known.

As we enjoyed our coffee, Old Man shuffled right up to our table and ‘jokingly’ said that we were sitting at his table. He prattled on about how he always sits at that particular table -- the one where we were obviously loitering now that we had finished our meal. He even suggested that we move to one of the available tables.

Pardon me?

Astonished, my friend looked at me with a ‘can you believe this?’ expression on her face as I scanned the restaurant for telltale signs of hidden cameras. Clearly we were the targets of a reality show in which Old Man was playing the Jack Nicholson role from As Good As It Gets or the Dustin Hoffman role from Rain Man.

But Old Man was not part of any show or acting a role. He simply was a restaurant patron who forgot where he was and forgot his manners to boot.

He forgot that he was not at home, in his own dining room, where he can sit in the same chair every day and dare anybody to go near it. He was in a public restaurant – where seats are assigned as you enter.

I could not tell if he was mentally ill, or just a cranky old man accustomed to getting his way. I took both possibilities into consideration and refrained from letting him know exactly what I was thinking. (Trust me. It was not a happy thought.)

My friend and I mustered a couple of smiles, assured him that we would be leaving soon, and kindly suggested that he take a seat at one of the empty tables until we departed. He mumbled something, and shuffled off.

Our waiter and the restaurant’s manager came over in succession. Both were mortified and apologized profusely, explaining that Old Man is a semi-regular guest who always insists on having that particular table.

My friend and I sat there for a few more uncomfortable minutes, then got up to leave. As we headed for the door, the restaurant host stopped us and offered the third apology of the morning. At this point we were more embarrassed by the apologies than the incident itself.

But back to Old Man… there is no excuse for his behavior. Yes, he is old and he may have some mental issues. If that is the case, then the people accompanying him in public – in this case, his wife – should rein him in and not allow his rudeness to disrupt others’ enjoyment. If he were a few years younger, or if the importance of good manners had not been drilled into my head from birth, the scenario could have taken a nasty turn very quickly.

It is never in style to be rude. Not to a stranger. Not to a waiter. Not to a fellow patron. Not to anyone.

Besides, is the location of your table really that important? Seriously.

Try new things, but don't go crazy!

When it comes to my personal style, I am very confident regarding what works and doesn't work for me. But to keep from getting in a fashion rut I will try new styles on occasion. One such instance was during a recent trip to Chicago to visit a friend (who happens to be a true fashionista).

While browsing a men's boutique, a military-style jacket caught my eye. This is not my usual style, but my friend encouraged me to try it on. I did, and to my surprise I looked pretty good in it... and not like a long-lost member of the Jackson Family! (What is it with their fascination with military garb?) She gave the jacket the nod of approval, so I said yes.

Well, I was on a roll now. "What else should I try?"

Having recently bought two pairs of jeans, I did not want or need more, but the 'sale' sign seemed to call my name. I quickly thumbed through the stacks and found my size in a style unlike the ones I just bought.

The jeans were black, with straight legs. Dare I say they were 'skinny' jeans?

My gut said no, but I was still floating because of my new jacket, so off to the dressing room I marched... salesman and fashionista friend in tow.

A few grunts later, I emerged from the dressing room. I already knew how I looked (because there was a mirror in the dressing room). But in keeping with the 'try new things' theme of the day, I had to see this experiment to its fruition.

The look on the faces of the salesman and my friend said it all: Oh. My. God!

The skinny jeans were so tight they made my legs look like sausage casings. And, when I turned to show the back side... well, let's just say that I could have been J-Lo's brother!

My fashionista friend slowly shook her head. Horrrified. The salesman, trying to put a positive spin on it, commented that I definitely would get attention if I wore the jeans. Tempting thought... but no. The skinny jeans went back on the shelf.

So, the lesson learned: Try new styles. See how today's trends look on you. But, in the end, remain true to yourself.

Don't get caught up with trends and lose your own style in the process.

"I care about the details."

The road to becoming well-dressed doesn't end with a great suit or dress. Hats, belts, watches, sunglasses, cufflinks and scarves may seem like an afterthought or even utilitarian, but they really are a key component of your overall look and can add just the right touch.

Pay attention to the little things. You will make a bigger - and much better - impression!

What lies beneath?

Your undergarments are just as important as your top layer of clothing. They should fit well and provide support.

Periodically take stock. Stretched elastic? Pit stains? Faded colors? Toss it! Your underwear should look good - even if no one sees it but you.

"I respect you - and your senses."

Use fragrances sparingly. A little goes a long way. Others should not smell you before you enter the room - or after you leave.