Resolving to Lose Weight? Skip the Charade!

It's December. The end of another year. Time to review what we accomplished. What lingers on our to-do list. And, yes... what we resolve to do next year.

I hate this part of the holidays. Just call me The Grinch Who Stole New Year's.

Each year I used to resolve to eat more fruits and vegetables (and fewer fries); drink more water (and less soda and coffee); and exercise at least three times a week.

It never happened.

So I finally dropped the charade of a new year's diet. You should, too.

Why?

Every January millions resolve to lose weight and/or get in shape, after which they plan to buy new clothes and pay more attention to their appearance. Many even join fitness clubs and put forth a valiant effort... for about six weeks or so.

By spring, most of those resolutions have been abandoned, and trips to the gym have dwindled or stopped entirely. This, of course, means they never get to the second part of the plan... the part where they buy new clothes and pay attention to their appearance. As a result, they spend the remainder of the new year looking (and feeling) just as bad as the year before.

I propose that we all skip the weight-loss charade! Stop kidding ourselves that we are going to exercise diligently and lose weight at the beginning of the year. There is nothing magical or special about the month of January. (I mean, you could have started last May. Or August. What was wrong with October? See.)

Instead of postponing 'looking better,' I say begin where you are right now. Instead of signing a contract for a gym membership (that you are likely to abandon), you should spend the money on a couple of new outfits in your current size.

"But I'm fat!," you say. Yes, you are. I won't lie to you. But stick with me; the brilliance of my plan is about to come through!

Wearing clothes that fit well and are flattering - regardless of your size - will have a positive influence on your outlook. Your family, friends and co-workers will notice, and compliment you. The compliments will serve as motivation to lose weight.

Soon you will think, "If I look this good in a size XXX, imagine how much better I will look if I diet and exercise and get down to a size X!"

I know this works. Last year one of my clients was struggling with her weight and was not in the mood to do anything about it. After I helped her get some new clothes (in her size at the time), she was energized and motivated to begin a diet and exercise program. Today she has lost weight and a few dress sizes, her confidence is back, and she looks and feels amazing!

You can do it, too.

So, out with the old resolution to lose weight first. Start looking your best where you are RIGHT NOW. By spring - when the fitness centers are empty again - you can begin making your outside look as good as you feel inside.

Cheers!

Parties Ahead: Proceed with Caution

The holidays are almost here. Soon you will be celebrating with your family, friends and neighbors. And let’s not forget the annual tradition that is anticipated by some, while dreaded by others: the office holiday party!

With a little foresight, the office party can be a fun and memorable event. Because it’s the holidays, you can step out a little with your attire, but keep your behavior in check.

Let’s start with the obvious… what should you wear?

First, your workplace probably has a dress code – either official or unofficial – that you observe every day. You know what attire is appropriate for your particular industry, so keep this code in mind when selecting your party attire.

For the party, your outfit can have a little sparkle (‘party’ jewelry or a dress made of shiny fabric) or you can show a little cleavage. (Men can step out with a more colorful shirt-tie combination, but avoid anything gimmicky like a Santa tie or Santa hat.)

It is a party, but remember it also is a work function. There are parts of your body that your boss and co-workers do not need to see. Period. This is not the time to reveal the tattoo you got during Spring Break of your senior year!

Avoid wearing anything that is too tight, too short, too low-cut, too sheer or any combination of the above. You are going to a party with your co-workers, not applying for a job at Hooters.

If you plan to dance at the party, wear shoes that will be comfortable all evening. Do not wear shoes that you’ll have to kick off after just one spin around the dance floor. Wearing a party dress while dancing in your stocking feet just makes you look drunk, whether you are or not.

Speaking of alcoholic beverages …

Keep in mind that this is an office party. Put the emphasis on ‘office’ and not on ‘party.’ Sure, there is an open bar, but this is not the time to experiment with new concoctions or overindulge in your favorite beverage. Know your limit and strictly obey it.

The last thing you want to do is drink too much and embarrass your spouse/date, your clients, your boss, or most importantly, yourself.

(I once had a co-worker who imbibed too much at the holiday party. In her inebriated state she ‘flashed’ several colleagues and French kissed another one. I didn’t even attend the party, but our co-workers replayed the unfortunate events of the evening for me, minute by minute. She never lived it down, and her party story became legendary.)

Now, back to you. Come Monday morning, you will be back in the office working side by side with your co-workers and your boss. Unlike Vegas, what happens at the office party does not stay at the office party. So, don’t wear or do anything that will make you the main character in a cautionary tale.

Eyeglasses: To See and Be Seen

Question:
What does your choice in glasses say about you? Can glasses change how people perceive you? For those of us that have to wear them, and for someone that has been thinking about shaking up my look (always very conservative)… it is an important quandary!
-submitted by A.T.


Thanks for your question, A.T.

I’m a big believer in accessories and their ability to convey your mood or affect the way you look. Glasses, although they are a necessity for you, are the ultimate ‘accessory’ because you wear them every day and with everything.

So, what do glasses say about the wearer?

According to a survey by eyewear maker Essilor of America, 40 percent of those surveyed said that people who wear glasses are perceived as being “smarter.” Thirty-nine percent said people look “more sophisticated” wearing glasses.

Okay. Smart is good. Sophisticated is great. But do glasses diminish the wearer’s attractiveness?

According to the survey, 73 percent of the respondents said glasses have little to no impact on the wearer’s attractiveness. Sixty percent of men and 62 percent of women disagree with the adage of "boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses?"

Singer Britney Spears topped the list of sexiest eyeglass-wearing celebrity among male voters (44 percent). Actor Richard Gere took the top celebrity spot among female voters, with 35 percent.

Although Britney’s and Richard’s spectacles say sexy, glasses say different things, largely depending on the wearer. When it comes to famous people in glasses, here’s how I see it…

“Smart” glasses: inventor Benjamin Franklin, billionaire Bill Gates, writer/actress Tina Fey.

“Cool” glasses: entertainer Whoopi Goldberg, singer-activist Bono, actors Johnny Depp and James Dean, activist Malcolm X.

“Creative” glasses: singer Elton John, architect IM Pei, fashion designers Yves St. Laurent and Christian Siriano.

A number of politicians, including former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger and former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, are synonymous with their eyewear. And how would we ever recognize characters such as Harry Potter, Clark Kent and Charlie Brown's Marcie without their trademark eyeglasses?

So, how do you find eyeglasses that are right for you? A few tips…

1) Do not rush. You will be wearing your glasses every day, so take your time to find the right pair. If your optometrist does not have anything you like, take your prescription and shop around.

2) Combine function with beautiful form. The options are plentiful, so look for glasses that not only help you to see, but help others see you in a new light.

3) Consider the shape of your face. As a general rule, the shape of your glasses should contrast with the shape of your face. For example, if you have a round face, do not get round glasses; try glasses that are more rectangular in shape. If your face is angular, do not get glasses with sharp angles; try round or oval ones.

4) You can have more than one pair. Perhaps a ‘serious’ pair for work and a ‘fun’ pair (or two) for evenings and weekends.

5) Get the opinion of someone you trust. A friend of mine, who is in her 50s, says she always seeks the advice of someone younger so that her glasses look current and not like little-old-lady glasses.

6) Repeat these steps every two or three years. Eyeglasses go out of style, just like everything else. You cannot look 'current' if you've been wearing the same glasses for 10 years.

Now that you have some guidelines, which style of eyeglass frames ranked sexiest according to the survey? Rimless eyeglasses took the top spot by 49 percent of both wearers of eyeglasses and those who do not wear glasses. Metal frames came in second with 38 percent. And almost half (46 percent) of those surveyed would consider wearing eyeglasses as a fashion accessory – even if they didn’t need glasses.

Note to self: Schedule eye appointment; ask about rimless frames. Pronto!

Best of luck to you, A.T.!

What do your shoes say?

The shoes you wear to work every day may or may not reflect your personality – they’re just part of your work attire.

Construction workers wear steel-toed boots. Coaches wear athletic shoes. Businessmen wear wingtips. Nurses wear whatever is most comfortable!

But your casual shoes - the ones you choose to wear in your free time - tell a different story. That's because many shoes have a ‘brand’ and can associate certain characteristics with the wearer – whether accurate or not.

For example, someone wearing Birkenstocks (or a similar type of sandal) may be pegged as laid back, environmentally conscious, or at worst a ‘tree-hugger.’

Tevas say ‘sporty.’

White running shoes typically say 'American,' and when traveling abroad they say 'tourist.'

Five-inch stilettos say ... ahem, they say a lot!

Crocs say 'I'm cute.' But they only work for children. Wearing Crocs after age 10 says that you just don’t care. (That’s my very personal opinion!) Adults should not wear Crocs unless washing the car or planting shrubbery.

So, whether you're reaching for Doc Martens, slingbacks, flip-flops, or Chucks, take a minute to think about what your shoes are saying.

Is that the message you want to send?

Transition to fall clothes in 3 easy steps

Fall is here! It’s my favorite season because we get a break from the sweltering temperatures, the air is crisp, and we don’t need coats – yet.

Time to take out your fall clothes. But what if you really don’t have ‘fall’ clothes? Perhaps your closet is filled with ‘summer’ clothes and ‘winter’ clothes, but very little in between. How do you bridge the seasons?

No need to panic. Here are three steps that will make the transition easy – for both women and men.

First, put away any clothes that just yell summer: cotton shorts, linen slacks/skirts and sandals. If you have any doubt regarding whether an item is too ‘summery’ to wear into fall, ask yourself a couple of questions about the garment:

1. Is it white? I know, I know. The new fashion ‘rules’ dictate that you can wear white after Labor Day. I gave you a few weeks; it’s October now. Time to give up white pants. (White shirts and blouses - not made of linen - are fine year-round.)

2. When the temperature was in the upper 90s, did you wear this item because it helped keep you cool? If so, pack it away until next year.

Second, bring out the clothes that you packed away at the first sign of spring… sweaters, jackets/blazers, scarves and boots. Before you put these clothes into your closet and dresser drawers, ask yourself, “Did I wear this last winter?” If you did not wear it, why not? Is it because the item is out of style? Or have you simply grown tired of it?

If you did not wear it last year, how likely are you to wear it this year?

The item is just taking up space in your closet. If it is in good condition, donate it to charity. If it is not in good condition (i.e. torn or stained), toss it in the trash.

The third and final step is blending your summer wardrobe with fall items to add warmth. Go for a streamlined V-neck, crew neck or cardigan made of merino wool. (Do not raid your grandfather’s closet for one of his bulky cable-knit sweaters!) Or you can add a jacket made of heavy canvas or a lightweight blazer.

Finish the transition by switching to fall shoes, such as leather boots or a nice pair of suede chukka boots.

I think you’re ready for your close-up!

Manners are always in style.

Last Sunday I met a friend for what started as a leisurely brunch, but ended as a reminder of the importance of good manners.

A dear friend and I had not seen each other in a couple of months, so after having our fill of great food we settled down to chat over coffee. Our waiter was pleasant and did not give the unspoken ‘time for you to leave’ vibe that usually comes when a restaurant is packed.

Well, even though the waiter did not mind our lingering, another patron was coveting our table -- and he made it known.

As we enjoyed our coffee, Old Man shuffled right up to our table and ‘jokingly’ said that we were sitting at his table. He prattled on about how he always sits at that particular table -- the one where we were obviously loitering now that we had finished our meal. He even suggested that we move to one of the available tables.

Pardon me?

Astonished, my friend looked at me with a ‘can you believe this?’ expression on her face as I scanned the restaurant for telltale signs of hidden cameras. Clearly we were the targets of a reality show in which Old Man was playing the Jack Nicholson role from As Good As It Gets or the Dustin Hoffman role from Rain Man.

But Old Man was not part of any show or acting a role. He simply was a restaurant patron who forgot where he was and forgot his manners to boot.

He forgot that he was not at home, in his own dining room, where he can sit in the same chair every day and dare anybody to go near it. He was in a public restaurant – where seats are assigned as you enter.

I could not tell if he was mentally ill, or just a cranky old man accustomed to getting his way. I took both possibilities into consideration and refrained from letting him know exactly what I was thinking. (Trust me. It was not a happy thought.)

My friend and I mustered a couple of smiles, assured him that we would be leaving soon, and kindly suggested that he take a seat at one of the empty tables until we departed. He mumbled something, and shuffled off.

Our waiter and the restaurant’s manager came over in succession. Both were mortified and apologized profusely, explaining that Old Man is a semi-regular guest who always insists on having that particular table.

My friend and I sat there for a few more uncomfortable minutes, then got up to leave. As we headed for the door, the restaurant host stopped us and offered the third apology of the morning. At this point we were more embarrassed by the apologies than the incident itself.

But back to Old Man… there is no excuse for his behavior. Yes, he is old and he may have some mental issues. If that is the case, then the people accompanying him in public – in this case, his wife – should rein him in and not allow his rudeness to disrupt others’ enjoyment. If he were a few years younger, or if the importance of good manners had not been drilled into my head from birth, the scenario could have taken a nasty turn very quickly.

It is never in style to be rude. Not to a stranger. Not to a waiter. Not to a fellow patron. Not to anyone.

Besides, is the location of your table really that important? Seriously.

Try new things, but don't go crazy!

When it comes to my personal style, I am very confident regarding what works and doesn't work for me. But to keep from getting in a fashion rut I will try new styles on occasion. One such instance was during a recent trip to Chicago to visit a friend (who happens to be a true fashionista).

While browsing a men's boutique, a military-style jacket caught my eye. This is not my usual style, but my friend encouraged me to try it on. I did, and to my surprise I looked pretty good in it... and not like a long-lost member of the Jackson Family! (What is it with their fascination with military garb?) She gave the jacket the nod of approval, so I said yes.

Well, I was on a roll now. "What else should I try?"

Having recently bought two pairs of jeans, I did not want or need more, but the 'sale' sign seemed to call my name. I quickly thumbed through the stacks and found my size in a style unlike the ones I just bought.

The jeans were black, with straight legs. Dare I say they were 'skinny' jeans?

My gut said no, but I was still floating because of my new jacket, so off to the dressing room I marched... salesman and fashionista friend in tow.

A few grunts later, I emerged from the dressing room. I already knew how I looked (because there was a mirror in the dressing room). But in keeping with the 'try new things' theme of the day, I had to see this experiment to its fruition.

The look on the faces of the salesman and my friend said it all: Oh. My. God!

The skinny jeans were so tight they made my legs look like sausage casings. And, when I turned to show the back side... well, let's just say that I could have been J-Lo's brother!

My fashionista friend slowly shook her head. Horrrified. The salesman, trying to put a positive spin on it, commented that I definitely would get attention if I wore the jeans. Tempting thought... but no. The skinny jeans went back on the shelf.

So, the lesson learned: Try new styles. See how today's trends look on you. But, in the end, remain true to yourself.

Don't get caught up with trends and lose your own style in the process.

"I care about the details."

The road to becoming well-dressed doesn't end with a great suit or dress. Hats, belts, watches, sunglasses, cufflinks and scarves may seem like an afterthought or even utilitarian, but they really are a key component of your overall look and can add just the right touch.

Pay attention to the little things. You will make a bigger - and much better - impression!

What lies beneath?

Your undergarments are just as important as your top layer of clothing. They should fit well and provide support.

Periodically take stock. Stretched elastic? Pit stains? Faded colors? Toss it! Your underwear should look good - even if no one sees it but you.

"I respect you - and your senses."

Use fragrances sparingly. A little goes a long way. Others should not smell you before you enter the room - or after you leave.

“I’m worth it!”

Instead of buying three inexpensive cotton-blend sweaters, consider one cashmere sweater. Yes, it costs more - but it looks better, feels better, and sets you – and your style – above and apart!